Like Grapefruit

I hate feeling like this.
I do, I do..

There is a crowd
And in this crowd sits a woman
She smiles while everyone around her shouts and yells
I am astonished at her calm, witty attitude and surprised none have noticed such beauty
She stands and without any hesitation begins to make her way through the crowd, they make room for her and continue with the shouts and fights
She walks to the other side of the room and stands
She stares, taking everything in
She smiled, smiled at the chaos..

A dream I had..

It is us.
What can destroy a man faster, only himself.
Can we be forced to do corruptible things?
Oh no, we run to do them all by ourselves.
It is us.
we are what we are.

You make me smile..
I haven’t stopped thinking of you and I hate it so..

I’ll be right there once my shift is over and again I’ll walk along the shiny floors, glistening without any marks
I’ll peer into the other rooms and look upon the faces that lie in the beds, with tubes in their noses, eyes closed, some will mumble
I will lower my head as some look up
I say a prayer for each
Lord, your will be done.

I seek many things..
And nothing seems to have caught my eye..
Or rather I have not caught the eye of the things that I seek.
I weep.

Oh yes, in my heart I do weep..

Ah, but you hold your head so high, they never saw those tears in your eyes..
Never, never will they know..

I fear I may be becoming undone.
Don’t look at me.
Let me dress.
Ok, I’m decent now.
Turn around, turn around.

We give up so much of ourselves to each other and often times nothing will come of it.
Do we take something from one another, learn anything?

Or do we become so consumed with only ourselves that we forget about everyone.

You know what they say, treat those how you want to be treated.
And this can coincide with how you feel about yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to love others. Well do you..

What is this feeling..
I can’t describe it
It’s throughout my body and in my mind
This feeling..
These thoughts
I’ll distance myself, oh yes..

I’ll close my eyes and think to myself..

Of course it would end that way..
Of course.
You simply used words to make my spirit heavy, heavy with the familiar taste of disappointment and wasted time.

And then I think of why I should hide..